Day 3 of my 30-day challenge to write on this blog, and honestly… I think I’m doing pretty good so far.

I’ve noticed something unexpected: I actually look forward to thinking about what I’m going to write. It feels like this little part of my brain that’s been closed for a while is starting to open back up again. You know, the part that existed before I had a child and started running around like a slightly unhinged woman trying to survive a toddler and her very big emotions.

Anyway.

Today I want to talk about my romance fantasy book idea and the fact that I cannot get it out of my head.

I genuinely love the idea. I think it could be a really good story. But at the same time, I know there are a lot of people writing books right now… and let’s be honest, some of them are not great. Dark fantasy romance is massively popular at the moment, and the last thing I want is to jump on the trend train just because everyone else is doing it.

But then there’s another part of my brain that’s like, what if this is actually a good idea?

And that leads me to my next spiral.

If I start writing parts of it on this blog, what if someone steals the idea? Then suddenly I’m in some weird legal situation trying to prove it was my idea in the first place. Which feels dramatic… but also like something my brain insists on worrying about anyway.

On top of that, I’m a perfectionist. A truly annoying level of perfectionist.

Everyone always says, “Just start writing and the story will flow.” And I’m like… okay but how? What does the flow of a book even look like? I mostly listen to books, so I don’t even know if manuscripts are single spaced, double spaced, or if there’s some secret book-writing format I’m supposed to magically know.

I know these are small things that normal people probably don’t worry about.

Unfortunately, my brain is not normal.

It’s nerve-racking. But at the same time, the idea will not leave my head. And I have this weird gut feeling that maybe I should just start writing with zero expectations. Maybe it doesn’t have to be a huge, life-changing thing. Maybe it’s just a small story that some people end up liking.

And honestly… that might be enough.

I used to love writing stories in English class when I was younger. And I think that little spark of joy, combined with one tiny dream of an idea, somehow turned into this bigger thing that I can’t stop thinking about.

The problem is I also can’t stop doubting myself.

And if I’m being really honest, I also know something else about myself: I love starting thirty different projects at once. Which then overwhelms me, and suddenly I’m drowning in my own ideas.

I’m also the type of person who wants to write the entire book by the end of this week… which is obviously not realistic because I do, in fact, have a life. And apparently sleep is still something humans are supposed to do.

So maybe the real challenge isn’t writing the book.

Maybe the challenge is learning how to take it one page at a time.