One thing about motherhood that no one really warned me about is how much your life changes emotionally after you have a baby.

When I was pregnant, so many people gave me all kinds of advice. Looking back, I honestly don’t remember most of what anyone said. I do remember feeling scared though. As a first-time mom, I was terrified of messing things up. I felt like I knew what I was doing, but also like I had absolutely no idea at the same time.

Now that I’ve actually gone through it, I’ve realized something. You really do just learn as you go. You figure things out little by little.

But there is one thing about parenthood that I don’t think people talk about enough.

When you have a baby, it’s not just adding someone new to your life. In a strange way, it’s also the end of a chapter. The version of you and your husband who existed before kids is gone. That younger version of your life, the one without the responsibility of a child, doesn’t come back.

And that can feel really strange to process.

It almost feels like a small kind of grief. Not because you regret becoming a parent. I wouldn’t trade my daughter for the world. But because a whole part of your life quietly closes.

I think a lot of people experience that feeling but don’t talk about it out loud.

We talk about the baby.
We talk about being exhausted.
We talk about feeding schedules and diapers and sleepless nights.

Everything revolves around the baby.

But not many people stop and ask how the mom is doing emotionally while all of this is happening.

And I think most moms already know exactly what I mean.

Another thing I noticed after she was born was how much my personality shifted.

Yes, some of it was the wild hormone roller coaster happening after birth, but it also felt deeper than that. It felt like something in my brain chemistry changed.

I suddenly couldn’t remember what I did yesterday, but I could remember every single detail of my baby’s day. Honestly, I could probably tell you everything she did that entire week.

I also realized that I stopped doing things for myself.

Everything became about the dogs, the baby, or my husband. Before becoming a mom, I had hobbies. I would get my nails done, get a tan, get waxed, and do little things that made me feel like a normal human being.

Now I barely do any of that.

This year I’ve slowly started trying to take some of that back. I’ve started getting my nails done again because that really makes me feel like myself.

I also changed my hair color.

I don’t know why, but when I have purple hair it makes me feel like a total badass. I just love that feeling. Although, if I’m being honest, I think I might be getting over it now and wanting to go back to my natural color. I’ve actually had the purple for about six months this time, which is a record for me.

Another thing I’ve noticed about myself is that I get overstimulated really easily now.

I think part of that is because I haven’t been working out and my eating habits haven’t been the healthiest. I also didn’t really have an outlet to reset my mind. For a long time I was doing everything for our family while my husband was working and going to school. I was running the house, taking care of the baby, the dogs, cleaning, and basically solo parenting a lot of the time.

Luckily he’s done with school now, which is amazing.

But it’s also been a strange shift for me. Now I actually have more time, and I think that might be part of why my brain keeps trying to pile on all these new ideas and projects.

If I’m being honest with myself, I think what I really need to do right now is focus on taking care of myself again.

That might sound selfish, but I don’t think it actually is.

I think what I need to work on are simple routines. Things like working out, eating better, spending less time on my phone, and getting outside more. Not as some big dramatic self-improvement project, but just as normal habits.

Because if those things become part of my normal routine now, then when we decide to have another baby someday, I won’t completely lose myself again.

And I think that’s something worth working on.